Freedom from Misunderstanding: What Grieving Parents Need Most
When a parent loses a child, they are thrust into a world that few can truly understand. One of the greatest burdens is not just the pain of loss, but the pain of being misunderstood. Well-meaning friends, coworkers, and even professionals often struggle to know what to say or do — and sometimes, their silence or awkward words only deepen the hurt.
What grieving parents need most isn’t advice or answers. They need empathy. A hug. A soft “I’m so sorry.” They need to hear their child’s name spoken out loud — not avoided. That one simple gesture, a remembrance shared, can be the most healing gift of all.
We don’t need others to imagine our pain. We need them to remember our child’s laughter, their smile, their spirit. We need the freedom to grieve in our own way, without judgment or pressure to “move on.”
There’s no “wrong” way to mourn. If something brings comfort, it’s right. So instead of offering solutions, just listen. Validate. And above all, be present. Your understanding — or your effort to understand — is more powerful than you know.
In memory of Maria-Victoria and all our children gone too soon.
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- Why Is the Loss of a Child So Much Harder Than Other Losses?
After the death of a child, grieving parents are often met with well-meaning but misplaced comparisons - Freedom from Misunderstanding:
When a parent loses a child, they are thrust into a world that few can truly understand. One of the greatest burdens is not just the pain of loss, but the pain of being misunderstood. - The Therapist’s Therapist
There are times when it rumbles and bubbles up and just must come out. No amount of mindfulness, self-reflection, deliberate distraction will suffice. - A GRIEF SHARED -5 Years in the After
This article was written by Dr. Lynda five years after the death of her daughter, Maria-Victoria at age 13. It was published in numerous professional journals, was adopted as an article to share with new members of Compassionate Friends chapters and received nationwide attention as it was shared throughout the United States and Canada. This article was the beginning of her decision to write the book Journey, to document how of feels with the loss of a child over a span of nearly 30 years, as well as helping professionals know how to help the bereaved.